Video Game Producer / Scientist
Caucasian / Asian
From our first night together we played into each other’s energy. We’re playful people, and our relationship today shines with the same familiar attraction and comfort of our first few dates. Vance’s ambition pushed us to strive for more in our health, careers, and relationship. With Jeany’s support, he has learned to balance that drive with a sense of self-acceptance and appreciation for life’s little moments. We hold hands on the street, share inside jokes, and create weird noises that only make sense to us. We’re happy in our own little world and eager to see how that dynamic grows and changes as we expand our family.
We've found ways to be silly together and keep ourselves smiling in our own private world. Most of the time we enjoy simple things: trying new restaurants, spending time at the dog park, and having deep conversations about movies, TV shows, or current events.
Our relationship is a decade strong, and it's built on a foundation of effective communication; we've found that tough conversations are often the most important ones to have. It's a skill we've grown together, it underpins our marriage and gives us the confidence to take on all of life's future challenges.
We’ve already spent years attempting to conceive naturally and with medical assistance. After some reflection, we realized the most important parts of growing our family have nothing to do with biological relation.
We live in a vibrant urban neighborhood in sunny Southern California. There are lots of local businesses, as well as multiple parks, playgrounds, and elementary schools. We love where we live and we’re always walking around town, and the beach or the zoo is also just a short drive away. Even though it doesn’t snow in our area, we usually find a way to experience a bit of snow every year, whether by going on a weekend trip to the mountains or visiting family out of state for the holidays.
Jeany’s family is located nearby, while Vance’s family is centered in Pennsylvania. It’s always a special occasion when we get to visit them or they come to us. We love traveling to PA for big celebrations like Memorial Day, 4th of July, and Christmas, while Chinese New Year is always a big deal bringing together 1st, 2nd, and 3rd generation family members for a long afternoon traditional meal. Vance has two younger sisters who he’s very close with, along with two nephews. Jeany grew up as an only child but her network of cousins is vast and local. These cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents are supportive and excited to meet our baby and build many lasting family memories together.
Vance’s brother-in-law was deployed at the start of the pandemic, and for a year we shared a large suburban home with his sister and two nephews. While the world outside shut down, we adapted to a lively household environment that balanced our work-from-home and their homeschooling needs. We embraced the changes in our routine, and enjoyed participating in kid activities and offering assistant parental support as needed. Sometimes things get tough out in the world, and we’re forever thankful we have a family that can rely on each other when it does.
Vance is an outgoing and social person, who is naturally skilled at making friends. His playful and silly sense of humor is an essential aspect of his personality. He is very dedicated to his job, but he always tries to find balance between work and his personal life. Vance is open-minded and always willing to try new things, but sometimes I need to be careful i.e. not tell him exactly what he’s eating before he tries it (when I know he’ll like it). Vance is excellent at working together with me to solve problems and overcome challenges in our relationship. While I may struggle to express myself at times, Vance is a skilled listener who can understand what I mean, even when my words are not quite right. Vance would make a great dad because he likes to play, loves running around and being outside. He’s a great listener, attentive, and knows how to look at things from a kid’s perspective.
Jeany likes to be silly and shares my style of playfulness. She appreciates thoughtfulness and is the best gift-giver I know (gifting is her love language). When it comes to trying new things she always keeps an open mind, but she’s opinionated and decisive when she finds something she likes, like a picture, a board game, or some delicious food. When it comes to occupying herself or troubleshooting home-things while I’m away, she’s independent and self sufficient. Jeany will make an awesome Mom, because she’s great at living in the moment and she values learning and exploring. She has an affinity for ecology and I love seeing her with our nephews at the zoo or the tidepools where she’s practically a kid herself, talking about why unique creatures are the way they are, and teaching me as much as she’s teaching them. I can’t wait to see how she bonds with our child through little moments just like that.
We met in a bar through a mutual friend. At the time we lived on opposite sides of a big city, but we both felt a strong connection after that first night, so we'd regularly make long trips across town fighting traffic to meet up for dates.
Vance: Try to put yourself in other people’s shoes and understand their point of view.
Jeany: Be smart, be safe, but don’t be afraid to take risks.
As birth mother, you play a key role in the child’s personal history and understanding who they are as they grow up. A strong relationship between us benefits us all, most importantly the child. We hope to build an enduring friendship with you.